Germ Freaktacular

We drove up to Nashville today and stopped and ate at McDonald's on the way. I try my hardest to avoid taking my newly potty trained child anywhere near a public restroom. He's a boy so it's a little easier on me, being the germ freak I am, than it would be if he was a girl and had to actually sit on the toilet. I'll probably end up holding Riley over the toilet as she goes IF I ever get stuck in a situation like this again while she's potty training/trained and still small (a.k.a. unaware of the nastiness that sits on ANY surface in a public restroom).

Anyways, Jack announces in the middle of our meal that he has to go potty. I run through the options in my head: a) pack up our lunch quickly and take both the kids outside, put Riley in the car, and let Jack pee in the parking lot as I hide him so no one can see that I'm letting my child go right where people walk. (this really was my first thought) and then there was the only other thing I could think of b) leave our lunch there, take both my children and my giant diaper bag into a McDonald's restroom, and try to get Jack to pee without touching any surface while holding Riley and my giant bag and protecting them from the germs that lie within those bathroom walls.

Regretfully, I chose option b. We get into the bathroom unscathed. Then I see that these toilets are the giant, tall kind that are close to impossible not to touch, even as an adult. The door is one of those that you have to hold open or it will close on you. So here I am, holding Riley in one arm, my giant bag on the other, propping the door open with my knee, reaching out for Jack with my free hand so he doesn't get too close to the toilet, while shouting warning after warning about what not to touch.

"Jack, DO NOT touch that toilet. DO NOT touch ANYTHING. Just pull your pants down, stand on your tippy toes, and use the bathroom really fast. OK?!"

Everything's going pretty smoothly. He finishes going and I've already decided that I'm not gonna be able to squeeze into the stall to flush the toilet with my foot, and there's NO WAY I'm letting him flush it, so it's not getting flushed. I think he's about to pull his pants up and walk back out when the unthinkable happens.

He touches the toilet seat...............with his bare hand. I freaked out; I totally did. I'm glad no one else was in the bathroom although I'm pretty sure the lady that was about to clean it was standing outside the doorway listening the whole time.

"Jack! I can't believe you just did that! That is disgusting! UGHHHHH! Gross! Don't touch anything! I have to wash your hand! DO NOT pull up your pants! DO NOT touch anything! I HAVE to wash your hand first! I'm about to throw up! That was so disgusting!"

I put Riley down, hoping she won't touch anything. Then I instruct Jack to hold his hands out a certain way so as not to touch the dirty counter top, but what does it matter now. He touched a public toilet seat. I wash his hands thoroughly, and then notice Riley's hands headed for said countertop.

"Riley! Stop! NO! Do not touch that! COME HERE!"

Riley starts crying, but miraculously does not fall to the floor as she usually does in her drama queen style. She must have a developing germ sense like her mother. I finish washing Jack's hands and turn the water off with my elbow (no papertowels, only those dirty dryer things). I pick up my girl and lead my family safely out of the condemned place with my foot opening the door. That's where I was greeted by the cleaning lady, waiting to get in. I give a quick smile and quickly walk back to our table.

Next time, he's going in the parking lot. By the way, if you ever see a puddle on the ground, don't automatically assume it's water........